#3: The Gratitude REPORT
It’s the end of summer, which I hadn’t thought would arrive without a big change in my life. I got laid off towards the end of April this year, and it’s unnerving to be approaching September without a new job locked up. But when I look back over the last few months, I find myself feeling so grateful for all that has happened to me and for me. I’ve gone outside a ton, I’ve celebrated my best friends’ weddings, I’ve had countless really productive therapy sessions, and I’ve spent lots of time with my husband—all wonderful things. My unemployment era has presented so many challenges, not just in day-to-day living but also in the way I orient my mindset; where I tend to fixing, working through, rising above, this summer has asked me time and again to slow down and settle instead. It’s been an unexpected chance to make some shifts that seem small on the surface but have felt seismic in my body, and I’m proud of that, and I’m grateful to feel that pride.
So onward to the REPORT—a roundup of some things that I’ve done a little extra reflecting on these days. Happy Labor Day, remember we do not dream of labor, and get some rest. See y’all in September.
(R)eading: Florence Scovel Shinn
My therapist directed me to the works of Florence Scovel Shinn in a particularly spiral-y week, and it was a cheap Kindle download that packed a lot more power than I expected. It’s pretty woo-woo, pretty dated, and I wouldn’t call it high literature or scientifically backed in the slightest—but Shinn’s exploration of manifestation, right orientation, and the power of the subconscious mind really found me at the right time. I started Your Word is Your Wand, a slim little volume full of affirmations for different situations, the night before a job interview, and I can’t overstate how it calmed me going into a big day. I always look for ways to incorporate more of my faith into my life, and Shinn did so for me in unexpected ways, such as this especially resonant affirmation that’s now taped to my computer: “I do not limit God by seeing limitation in myself. With God and myself all things are possible.” Oof. More of that.
(E)ating: Not alcohol, except my first real martini
After two back-to-back weddings for two of my dearest friends, and with the onslaught of socializing that summer brings in general, I found myself feeling Not Well after more alcohol intake than usual. I’ve never been much of a drinker to begin with, but once I hit 30, whew, alcohol hits different in the bad way. I get the “day 2 hangover,” my body and brain feel as though they’ve never known a single crumb of dopamine, and my Garmin watch yells at me for all sorts of poorly performing statistics, and it’s just stopped feeling fun or worth it in really big ways. So I decided to swear off alcohol for a little while—save my wallet the money, and myself the world of hurt.
That said, the next week I went out to dinner with some of my closest girlfriends and was promptly strong-armed into ordering a martini. I’ve always said it would be neat to be a martini person, very Lorelai Gilmore-esque, and I do finally eat olives…but that’s what I get for saying all that out loud to my friends. I did laugh at the irony of saying I wasn’t going to drink anymore, then ordering a drink widely known as being all alcohol, but it was in fact delicious and I did love it. Now I know what drink to get the next time I feel like nursing a glass of yummy poison for an hour!
(P)laying: Sabrina, Maggie, Chappell, Beyonce, Kacey…
For much of my sentient life, I’ve prided myself on having a wide and varied music taste. I was an early promoter for Spotify in 2012, I make playlists like it’ll pay the rent, and I chase that moment when an unfamiliar song feels like an instant favorite. In spite of my deep appreciation for a range of styles, and in spite of wanting to be seen and known as a Serious Music Fan, I have come to embrace my core identity as One of the Girlies. Investing time in music discovery is important to me, but having fun will always win out. And pop girl music, for me, is so fun! It pumps me up, it’s background sound, it calms me down, it’s shareable with people I love, it’s clever, it’s dramatic, it’s emotionally wide-ranging. I can be a pop girl and also educated, curious, and informed about the larger scheme of music; I can hold both truths at once, and especially after the year in music we’re having, I intend to do so.
It bears no repeating that 2024 has been an undisputed phenomenal year for pop girls; we’ve been eating good since March, and I couldn’t pick just one artist or album to harp on for this issue. Instead, I’m going to list them all. It’s a long list! These are all 2024 releases, not even including the albums I still listen to from 2023! Consider the below your syllabus for engaging with me unil 2025. Just give me a few years to pull together the full dissertation on how the interests of teenage girls drive culture and have widespread social impact, but I have thoughts.
The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess, Chappell Roan (this was actually 2023, but given Chappell’s stratospheric rise this year, it would be unfair to exclude!)
Deeper Well, Kacey Musgraves
Cowboy Carter, Beyonce
Don’t Forget Me, Maggie Rogers
Eternal Sunshine, Ariana Grande
The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift
Radical Optimism, Dua Lipa
Hit Me Hard and Soft, Billie Eilish
Brat, Charli XCX
Short n Sweet, Sabrina Carpenter
The Secret of Us, Gracie Abrams
Honorable [Men]tions: the men did okay too!
Unreal Unearth, Hozier
F-1 Trillion, Post Malone
Live from Fenway, Noah Kahan (new drop today, you’re welcome!)
Stranger Desire, Bleachers (this isn’t coming out til next week, but Bleachers has a reserved spot on my top list)
(O)bsessing: Copilot budgeting app
This was a recommendation from a friend ages ago, and I just kept kicking it down the curb—my very involved, very hands-on, very intricate Excel spreadsheet worked mostly fine, thanks! But then when unemployment came calling and income got less regular, I needed something more automated to keep my sanity intact. As the appointed CFO of our little family, my spreadsheet wasn’t cutting it anymore when it came to making predictions or understanding where my money actually went; it was more of an idealized template, a high-level vision board for what our financials should look like, without much means to follow up on whether we met our goals or not.
That’s where Copilot came in absolutely clutch for me. From the jump, I loved its clean interface and high level of customization. To be fair, the onboarding process was extremely hands-on. I spent an entire Sunday fiddling in the desktop app, just trying to feel like I wasn’t drowning in data. But once that was behind me, it becomes so hands-off and intuitive. If you’re careful and thorough about setting up your spending categories and then categorizing existing transactions, the app will get really smart really fast, and automatically categorize for you (but you can review for accuracy). You can set up recurring charges that factor into your budget from day one so you aren’t surprised, you can see if you’re overspending based on how far along the month is, and you get a tidy little “Monthly Review” on the 31st to go over where all your dollars went. My husband, at first, was overwhelmed by all the information—it’s all driven by individual spending transactions, so to them, the app felt micro-managing. But to me, I needed a resource to be the micromanager, so I didn’t have to. Now, Copilot does the heavy lifting of day-to-day financial synthesis, and I get to focus on the big picture.
The biggest change here has come in the form of my psychological safety. When I downloaded Copilot, I was just trying to offload some of the nitty-gritty work of financial planning. Now, a few months into use, I’m finding that I simply worry about money less now than I ever have. A wildly bold statement, given my employment status! But I’ve taken so much comfort in automation. I’ve told Copilot the information I want to track, the robot does the tracking, and I get to look at all the collated information and tell the story. It’s taken so much of the stress and blindness towards money away, and I can see our picture clearly. Such a gift.
(R)ecommending: NYC Ferry System
If you follow me on Instagram (or ever speak to me in person), you know that I am the ferry’s #1 fan. I was recently cat-sitting for some friends on the Upper East Side, just a hop across the river from Astoria, and I took the ferry there and back every day. How delightful it is to take a boat to your obligations! No sweaty, smelly subway for me, not if I can avoid it. The ferry has plenty of seats, air conditioning, outlets, an outdoor upper deck, gorgeous skyline scenery, even snacks and a bar. They did raise the fare to $4 a ride, which puts it at about a dollar over the subway—but I’m too grateful for the payoff to care. Catch me on the East River until the frost sets in.
(T)rying: Running, again
It happens every time the weather changes—the outdoors becomes bearable, and I want to go for a run. I lace up my sneakers, cue up Coach Bennett on the Nike Run Club app, and get going. I get half a mile in and think, I like this! Why don’t I do this more? Then another half mile, maybe a mile passes, and my leg has a weird cramp, and my breathing is erratic, and I’m completely under- or over-dressed, and my playlist is boring, and I realize, There are so many reasons not to do this and I’m having a terrible time. I get home, sweaty and out of breath, and think that’s that on my running career. But give it a couple weeks, and the cycle will start up again. Maybe one day I’ll break out; maybe I’ll run more than once in a week, or see improvements in my form or mileage, or even sign up for a race! For now, though, I’ve learned not to ask too much of running. It’s always there for me if I need twenty minutes to get my heart rate up and turn my brain off. That, to me, is more than enough to get me back on the road.
That’s all from me! Send me a note and let me know what you thought of this week’s REPORT!
